Σάββατο 29 Μαΐου 2010
Μοναδικοί Φίλοι (1)
Αχ, μητέρα και πατέρα...τι να κάνω; Νιώθω πως έχω χάσει πάλι τον δρόμο μου....Μου μιλάνε τα ζώα, μου μιλάνε τα δέντρα και τα φυτά, αλλά εγώ δεν νιώθω τίποτα..έχω χάσει κάθε επαφή...και με εσάς και μες τον κόσμο, λες και ξαφνικά όλα άλλαξαν δίχως να με ρωτήσουν. Αχ, πείτε μου τι να κάνω..πείτε μου, νιώθω, ή καλύτερα είμαι σίγουρος, πως έχω χάσει για άλλη μια φορά τον δρόμο μου... Δεν μπορώ να ακούσω ούτε καν τους ακολούθους σας, ούτε καν εμένα. Πείτε μου κάτι, κάντε κάτι, ένα σημάδι...
Δευτέρα 24 Μαΐου 2010
Όνειρα (1)
Ονειρεύομαι
μέρη που μάτι ανθρώπου δεν έχει ξαναδεί
Ονειρεύομαι
τόπους που το όνομά τους είναι άγνωστο
Ονειρεύομαι
ζωή δίχως φόβο και κακία, δίχως δάκρυα, δίχως πόνο καρδιάς
Ονειρεύομαι
μια εποχή όπου τα όνειρά μου δεν θα θρυμματίζονται
Κυριακή 23 Μαΐου 2010
Necessary to write
It is necessary to write, if the days are not
to slip emptily by. How else, indeed, to clap the net over the butterfly
of the moment? For the moment passes, it is forgotten; the mood is
gone; life itself is gone. That is where the writer scores over
his fellows: he catches the changes of his mind on the hop.
Sackville-West
to slip emptily by. How else, indeed, to clap the net over the butterfly
of the moment? For the moment passes, it is forgotten; the mood is
gone; life itself is gone. That is where the writer scores over
his fellows: he catches the changes of his mind on the hop.
Sackville-West
Παρασκευή 14 Μαΐου 2010
Letter to thy self
Dear me,
It is time at last to talk about some things. I know that the last time we talked was a long ago, as I also know that it is me who should be blamed.
Life recently has changed a little bit, yet I don't seem to change in the parts where it is necessary. I mean, ok, many thoughts or ways of living have been altered and I have gained much experience that I lacked. But some things that I would like them to have gone away, still follow me with an unwanted loyalty.
For example, my loneliness in the crowd. I used to have no friends though now I've made a lot. Yet that doesn't seem to make me feel that I belong somewhere. It's still the same feeling; a slight pain in my heart when I see the others enjoying themselves... no... no... it's not that. Ok, I admit that in the past I was jealous but now I am aware that they are alone too. Most of them are miserable, trying in vain to belong somewhere and fool themselves. But it's not possible for anyone not to realise the truth one day; we are born alone, we love alone and we die alone. And that is because it is very difficult or even impossible to feel exactly what the other is feeling.
So, you see what I am trying to explain? I do not know. Even when everything seems to go along and that I am protected with many ways, something inside me keeps being afraid of the change. As if I'll lose everything and I'll have to make my heritage from the beginning. But what is that heritage that my soul is so afraid of losing? Only ghosts, shadows from the past and feelings of fear and pain. Decay of the soul, that is what this heritage is!
I do not know... I can't tell yet. I believe that I still need much more time and experience in order to be able to oppose all of my demons. I may be protected but at night, especially during the night, my defenses get weaker, my self, and that means you, gets weaker. And they penetrate my skin and reach my innocent heart that cannot stand this world. I may be in my puddle, I may sometimes feel jealousy or hatred, but my heart still beats like it used to when I had nothing to worry about. It still sings the same forgotten melodies of innocence. At least I've found a perfect way to hide my heart and play dead to the outside world. You see, it is essential that sacrifice 'cause only by doing that you may one day have a slight chance to fit in.
So my self, I write to you this letter in purpose of asking you your opinion on these everyday fights that I'm giving and to ask for your precious aid and guidance.
Looking forward for your reply,
with true love Shadowcain.
It is time at last to talk about some things. I know that the last time we talked was a long ago, as I also know that it is me who should be blamed.
Life recently has changed a little bit, yet I don't seem to change in the parts where it is necessary. I mean, ok, many thoughts or ways of living have been altered and I have gained much experience that I lacked. But some things that I would like them to have gone away, still follow me with an unwanted loyalty.
For example, my loneliness in the crowd. I used to have no friends though now I've made a lot. Yet that doesn't seem to make me feel that I belong somewhere. It's still the same feeling; a slight pain in my heart when I see the others enjoying themselves... no... no... it's not that. Ok, I admit that in the past I was jealous but now I am aware that they are alone too. Most of them are miserable, trying in vain to belong somewhere and fool themselves. But it's not possible for anyone not to realise the truth one day; we are born alone, we love alone and we die alone. And that is because it is very difficult or even impossible to feel exactly what the other is feeling.
So, you see what I am trying to explain? I do not know. Even when everything seems to go along and that I am protected with many ways, something inside me keeps being afraid of the change. As if I'll lose everything and I'll have to make my heritage from the beginning. But what is that heritage that my soul is so afraid of losing? Only ghosts, shadows from the past and feelings of fear and pain. Decay of the soul, that is what this heritage is!
I do not know... I can't tell yet. I believe that I still need much more time and experience in order to be able to oppose all of my demons. I may be protected but at night, especially during the night, my defenses get weaker, my self, and that means you, gets weaker. And they penetrate my skin and reach my innocent heart that cannot stand this world. I may be in my puddle, I may sometimes feel jealousy or hatred, but my heart still beats like it used to when I had nothing to worry about. It still sings the same forgotten melodies of innocence. At least I've found a perfect way to hide my heart and play dead to the outside world. You see, it is essential that sacrifice 'cause only by doing that you may one day have a slight chance to fit in.
So my self, I write to you this letter in purpose of asking you your opinion on these everyday fights that I'm giving and to ask for your precious aid and guidance.
Looking forward for your reply,
with true love Shadowcain.
Κυριακή 2 Μαΐου 2010
Κληρονομιά των Φαντασμάτων
"I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence...
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth"
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth"
Και να σου! Κάτι συμβαίνει την στιγμή που η ζωή σου έχει γεμίσει με το Λευκό Σκοτάδι και που νομίζεις πως όλα θα είναι τα ίδια μέχρις ότου να 'φύγεις' μακριά. Κάτι συμβαίνει τότε που θαρρείς πως ελπίδα δεν υπάρχει και όλα αλλάζουν.
Τι συνέβη ρωτάς; Πες πως βρήκες τον δρόμο για να βρεις τον εαυτό σου. Ξέρεις πως είναι μεγάλος και δύσκολος, μα τουλάχιστον γνωρίζεις πως ξέρεις που βαδίζεις πια. Σε τρομάζει η αρχή, σε τρομάζει η αλήθεια που θα πρέπει να αντιμετωπίσεις κάποια στιγμή, αλλά γνωρίζεις επίσης πως το έχεις ανάγκη. Έχεις ανάγκη να ξεφύγεις από όλα αυτά που τόσο καιρό έχεις επιτρέψει να σε κυνηγάνε. Και επίσης γνωρίζεις πως μπορείς, με κόπο πάντα, να τα αλλάξεις όλα.
Και ενώ αρχίζει η ψυχή σου να νιώθει αγαλλίαση, σε πιάνει πανικός!
"Κι εγώ μετά τι θα έχω;" αναρωτιέσαι. Και δικαίως το κάνεις μιας και τόσα χρόνια, που κλειδωνόσουν μακριά από την ανθρωπότητα με μοναδικούς συντρόφους τα φαντάσματά σου και την φρίκη της μοναξιάς, έχτισες μεγάλη κληρονομιά.
Και σου δίνεται η επιλογή να την κρατήσεις ή να πορευτείς δίχως μία, παρά μόνο αν μπορέσεις και δημιουργήσεις από την αρχή μια καινούρια.
Χάνεις την κληρονομιά των φαντασμάτων σου! Χάνεις τους αιώνιους εχθρούς και φίλους σου! Χάνεις την δικαιολογία της μοναξιάς σου. Πως θα αντέξεις να ζήσεις με αυτό που τόσα χρόνια ονειρευόσουν; Πως θα αντέξεις να ζήσεις δίχως τον φόβο που σε μεγάλωσε; Πως;...
Μα κανείς επιτέλους δεν μπορεί να βρεθεί σε λίγη ηρεμία; Και κατά πόσο η ηρεμία είναι το ιδεατό; Αυτό να αναρωτηθείς πρέπει πρώτα. Πριν ελπίζεις και εύχεσαι. Διότι οι ευχές είναι επικίνδυνες...
Εγγραφή σε:
Αναρτήσεις (Atom)